Recalibrating Practices: How Will You G-R-O-W? Practice Resilience

Every year I pick a word to recalibrate me. But, as a woman flooded with words, it’s swollen in the past years to an acronym:

G-R-O-W.

Gratitude. Resilience. Obedience. Wonder.

(In 2021, I’m making it G-R-O-W-L because we all need some laughter. Every day.)

These words guide my “rule of life,” a spiritual practice that helps set a sacred pace and path for life’s journey. (More on developing a “rule of life” in an upcoming newsletter.)

In my last post, I focused on gratitude. 

Now it’s time for resilience. If I want to keep following this wandering and winding path of writing, leading a non-profit arts organization, and “soul tending,” I need to be resilient.

What is resilience?

“Psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress—such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors. As much as resilience involves ‘bouncing back’ from these difficult experiences, it can also involve profound personal growth.” (American Psychological Association)

Resilience is the willow tree of attributes. It flexes, stretches, and bends. The winds blow, failure hits, rejection hurts , loss and grief and disappointment happen. I can break, give up, or sway in the breeze and sink my roots deeper into God.

Resilience is in my genes. My dad survived three different kinds of cancers, hepatitis C, and heart disease for three decades before dying at 88. He wanted to be with his grandkids that much. After my dad passed away, my mom resisted leaving her beloved Amelia Island. When it became clear she needed to move close to me, she grumbled but flexed. A few weeks after settling into Birmingham, she suffered a massive stroke. She recovered most of what she lost by being the model patient for her physical, speech, and occupational therapists.

Then COVID-19 hit.

She went into lockdown and her recovery slowed. She lost the sight of her left eye through the stroke and the sight in her right eye became blurrier which made reading more difficult. We went to nearly every eye subspecialist in Birmingham and she put our saint of an optometrist on speed dial. She was convinced if she only got thicker lenses for her eyeglasses, she could read again. When it finally sunk in that it was macular degeneration and not a faulty prescription, she nearly gave up.

But she didn’t.

Once she accepted that her eyesight wouldn’t improve, she began listening to the rehabilitation specialists who gave her tools to adapt and keep on reading. It’s not what she wants. But she has grit and is trying to learn new technology. Accept. Adapt. Endure. Hope.

I wish I could “inherit” resilience without experiencing the suffering and enduring and changing that goes with it. But it doesn’t work that way.

So, how do we build resilience into our souls?

Recalibrate

No path to our eternal home is linear. That road is filled with roadblocks, detours, and delays. We can train ourselves to keep turning our eyes back to Jesus who is the way (our direction), the truth (our destination), the life (our desire). We remember where we’re going and why it’s worth it. We acknowledge the reality that this path we’re on is a broken road and filled with suffering.

 So, no wonder we don’t give up. For even though our outer person gradually wears out, our inner being is renewed every single day. We view our slight, short-lived troubles in the light of eternity. We see our difficulties as the substance that produces for us an eternal, weighty glory far beyond all comparison. 2 Corinthians 4:16-17 TPT

Build Endurance

Scripture is essential to resilience. The Bible speaks of enduring with hope and reminds us of God’s faithfulness to those who’ve passed before us. More than anything, it shows us the resilient joy of Jesus and what he endured on our behalf.

For all those words which were written long ago are meant to teach us today; that when we read in the scriptures of the endurance of men and of all the help that God gave them in those days, we may be encouraged to go on hoping in our own time. Romans 15:14 Phillips

Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls! Hebrews 12:1-3 The Message

Find Community

Make it a priority to plant yourself in life-giving, mutual relationships. A community of people where you can laugh and weep together. Where you will ask for help. Seek a church which focuses on grace and vulnerability and accepts that everyone is on a broken road together.

Think of the Alternative

What if you stay stuck, go numb, or give up? You may need to adjust your goals. Maybe you’re past parachuting, winning the Olympics, or running for governor. But you’re not past the desire to try new adventures or impact your world. Think of resilience as buoyancy in the storm with Jesus as your anchor.

Here’s what I’ve learned through it all: Don’t give up; don’t be impatient; be entwined as one with the Lord. Be brave and courageous, and never lose hope. Yes, keep on waiting—for he will never disappoint you! Psalm 27:14 TPT

Remember Who Will Never Let You Go

Here’s the best news of all. God will never ever let you go. So, hang on, knowing his grip on you is sure and forever. He is the God who holds you. That’ll give you the courage to keep taking those wobbly baby steps of resilience on your way home.

I give to them the gift of eternal life and they will never be lost and no one has the power to snatch them out of my hands. My Father, who has given them to me as his gift, is the mightiest of all, and no one has the power to snatch them from my Father’s care. John 10:28-29 TPT

One definition of resilience is about the power of an object (or person) to return to its original form or purpose after being bent, compressed, crushed, or stretched. Jesus was crushed for us and we are assured that God will restore us to our intended shape and purpose in Him.  

God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun. Romans 8:29-30 The Message

 Link here to read practical ways to build resilience into your life. Link here to listen to the resilient truth that God will never let us go.

Recalibrating Practices: Lectio Divina, A Way to Let Scripture Form You

Recalibrating is about slowing down and paying attention to our GPS (God’s Prevailing Spirit) to keep finding our way home. It applies to our approach to Scripture as well. Many American believers learn to study the Bible for information more than transformation. We concentrate on the facts, context, and applications. There is a much-needed place for this approach but it also exposes how some of us (me!) try to get it “right” and then check off “Quiet Time” from our (my!) daily lists. And how we (I!) like being in control, even in our (my!) encounters with the supernatural living Word of God.  

 How can we allow Scripture to take hold of us and transform our hearts as well as our minds?

 Lectio Divina (sacred reading), an ancient discipline of the Church, offers a way to slow down and allow the Holy Spirit to lead our experience of Scripture.

 Choose a shorter section of Scripture (usually a few verses) and read it several times as if you’ve never heard it before. That can be challenging, especially with familiar passages. I fear that many of us are like Charlie Brown and only hear the teacher’s “wah-wah-wah” as we “skim” over Scripture.

Read it as you would for a longed-for love letter. Hear it expecting God to speak personally to you. Listen with the question, “God what are you saying to me in these verses?” Be ready to be surprised or disturbed.

It is helpful to write your thoughts or sketch out your impressions in a journal to stay focused and remember it throughout the day. Consider reading the verses from different translations or versions of the Bible. Read the passage at least three times. Here are some simple steps:

Prepare: Pause before reading. Close your eyes. Be still and silent. Breathe deeply. Pray for God’s Spirit to be with you.

Read: Listen for the word or phrase that resonates for you or seems to jump out. Read aloud to actually “hear” the words. Let yourself be surprised if it is not a word or phrase you expected. Write down these words before moving to the next reading.

Reflect: Read the passage again slowly. How is my life touched by this word?  Where am I in this story? Use all your five senses and imagination. Write down your thoughts or sketch out your impressions.

Respond/Rest: Read the passage again and ask God to let you hear it afresh. Is there an invitation to respond in some way?  If you have time, read the passage again. During this reading, release your concerns and rest in God.

Resolve: How will you live out the Word of God you have just received?  Is there an image or picture from this Scripture that will help you remember it throughout the day? 

Don’t be frustrated if you don’t “feel” like you’ve gotten anything. It’s not a formula or system to work, but a different way of engaging in Scripture. Return to “Rest,” knowing that the Word of God is powerful, trusting and asking God to embed it in your soul, and make it personal to you over the weeks and months.

Lectio divina is a powerful small-group practice as well. Allow time at the conclusion for discussion on what most impressed them or what God stirred in them. It’s fascinating how differently people can receive the same passage of Scripture.

There are many excellent books on lectio divina and other transformative practices involving Scripture. I recommend Ruth Haley Barton’s Sacred Rhythms: Arranging Our Lives for Spiritual Transformation, Robert Mulholland’s Shaped by the Word, Marjorie Thompson’s Soul Feast: An Invitation to the Christian Spiritual Life, and Eugene Peterson’s Eat This Book: A Conversation in the Art of Spiritual Reading.

Recalibrating Practices: Spiritual Life Map

Do you remember life before GPS? I do.

Unfolding (and ripping) the huge paper map, turning it upside down to reorient myself, hesitantly saying, “I think you’ll need to turn here. No wait. . . . go back . . . “ Rustle more with the map. Hear tension in Bill’s voice, “Dear, are you looking in the right place?”

Thank God for technology.

My first GPS would say “recalibrating” when I took a wrong turn and reroute me. That’s what I want spiritually—to quickly find out when I’m lost and reorient.

One of the truths which struck me as I have spent time in John 13-17, Jesus’ farewell address to his disciples, is how oriented Jesus was and how disoriented his disciples were. Jesus knew who he was, what he’d been given, where he came from, and where he was going and that his time had come. He wanted to implant that kind of spiritual life map into his followers by sending them the Holy Spirit to help them find their way home. A home in which he was preparing a room for them (John 14).

Because I can get spiritually lost and forgetful more often than most, I want to tune in more and more to my implanted GPS (God’s Prevailing Spirit). But I also love a good old paper map— a spiritual life map—a recalibrating practice that helps me remember who I am and where I’m going. I pray this exercise helps you in your spiritual journey.

Spiritual Life Map

A spiritual life map gives you a visual reminder of who and where you are, where you’re going, and how to keep re-finding your way home. This recalibrating tool shows where you’ve seen God move through the events in your life and keeps your eyes focused on the the perfect ending even if your current path is dark.

Create this map in a way best suited to your personality or wiring. Engineers and number folks may track their journeys through graphing or a chronology line (as long as they’re comfortable with non-straight lines). Artists could draw their epic movements. Writers may gather stories of disorientation and reorientation.

Start by imagining a drone looking down at the big picture of your life. Meditate on the seasons of disorientation in your life. Where have you experienced a stormy event which spun you out of the calm waters of life? Where did you land and how did you reorient as you came out of it? What did you have to let go of? What did you learn from those seasick days? What truth about God and yourself? Knowing more storms will come or you may be in one now, what foundations are essential to you?

Perhaps create a map like one you find in the Lord of the Rings or Chronicles of Narnia series, drawing out the battle scenes and dragons of your life and mark an X for where your treasure lies, what your ultimate destination is, where your “home” is.

Make sure to include these key elements in your map (and then fill in the details of where you’re currently at and your next stop on the journey):

Anchor this map with who you are: the one Jesus loves (John 13:23).

Remember your eternal purpose that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name. (John 20:31).

Focus on your eternal destination, “Don’t worry or surrender to your fear. For you’ve believed in God, now trust and believe in me also. My Father’s house has many dwelling places. If it were otherwise, I would tell you plainly, because I go to prepare a place for you to rest. And when everything is ready, I will come back and take you to myself so that you will be where I am. (John 14:1-3 TPT)

Don’t Map Alone

Share your spiritual life map with a loved one, friend or small group so that others can ask you these “recalibrating” questions to make sure you don’t forget who you are and where you’re going. To keep refreshing your map and refocusing on Christ, consider asking and answering these questions in safe community on an ongoing basis:

• Where are you right now (emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally)?  Rate either on a scale of 1-10 or by simple adjectives or descriptors (sad, energized, joyful, disappointed, etc.)

• Where are you going (your next step or stop as well as your ultimate destination)?

•  Who do you want to be when you get there?

•  What’s blocking your way and what side roads are you taking? If you feel lost, how do you think you got there?

•  How do you need to get back on road/listen/recalibrate?

• How can you refocus on Jesus right now?

•  How can we pray?

  • For the things outside your control

  • For those things in your control 

A life map is a helpful tool for those, like me, who forget and get lost, again and again.   It is just one more way to remember who you are, whose you are, what you’ve been given, what your purpose and your ultimate (guaranteed and secure as a believer) destination is.

Recalibrating Practices: Wake Up and Root Down

Aligning Your Spiritual Posture

It’s not my mother’s fault. She told me to stand up straight. But after years slouching over my computer keyboard, I confess I am a “slumper.” A slumper who also is easily distracted and frets too much.

Because of that, I developed a recalibrating practice I call my “morning stand,” a way to engage my whole body to anchor my scattered soul as well as straighten my sagging posture.

As one “prone to wander” spiritually and emotionally, taking my morning stand has helped “bind my wandering heart” to God. For those, like me, who may be scattered or sagging, I offer this practice.

To recalibrate your soul and stretch your body, try this simple five-minute wake-up routine integrating Scripture, movement, and prayer.

First, while lying in bed, breathe deeply and remember who you are: This is your beloved son/daughter (and state your name). Pause and exhale: In whom you are well pleased. Luke 3:22 (Truth note: For all who are believers in Christ, this how God now sees us.)

Then, sit up and gently stretch your neck and shoulders and repeat three biblical truths:

• I am made in the image of God (and so is everyone I will interact with today) 

• I am part of the plan of God (therefore, what I do today has purpose and meaning).

• I am filled with his Holy Spirit.

Next, stand and plant the four corners of both feet on the floor, imagining tree roots growing down, life flowing up. Lengthen your spine, aligning and stretching from your toes through your neck and head.

 Pray from Ephesians 3:17-19 (adapted from The Message):

I ask You that with both my feet planted firmly and rooted deeply in love, I'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love.

Roll your shoulders up and back and stretch your arms wide, thinking of the love of Christ shown on the Cross, and the vulnerability of being fully open, heart and body, to the world. Breathe slowly and deeply.

Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.

Then, lower your arms and place your palms down. Visualize gently dropping each of your deepest heart concerns and questions into the loving scarred hands of Jesus.

Pray, “I pour out all my worries and stress upon You and leave them there, for You always tenderly care for me.” (I Pet 5:7 TPT)

Turn your hands up in a receiving position. Picture God pouring his grace and mercy, power and love, wisdom and strength into your body and mind.

Pray, “You have not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-control.” (2 Tim 1:7)

Repeat the Lord's prayer slowly, stopping where you most need it this day (praising Him, seeking His kingdom, yielding to His will, laying out daily needs, asking/giving forgiveness, resisting temptation, overcoming evil). 

Finally, lift your head in a way which will balance a crown and remember the truth that He has crowned you with His steadfast love and mercy and remind yourself that you are the son or daughter of the King of Kings ready for this new day. (Ps. 103:4)

Note 1: For those of you who wake with a toddler’s finger poking in your eyeball, the alarm ringing in your ear after too little sleep, or late before you even leap from bed, don’t give up. To remember who you really are, what is true about you, and rooting deeply in the love of Christ can be done at any hour. The releasing of our deepest concerns and fears into Christ’s hands can be done on repeat (since I tend to reel mine back in after casting them onto the Lord). Just like we need to continue adjusting our physical posture, we can keep training our spiritual stance.

Note 2: When I’m tempted to uproot from love because of pain and doubt, I’m reminded of Henri Nouwen’s words.

“Do not hesitate to love and to love deeply. You might be afraid of the pain that deep love can cause. When those you love deeply reject you, leave you, or die, your heart will be broken. But that should not hold you back from loving deeply. The pain that comes from deep love makes your love even more fruitful. It is like a plow that breaks the ground to allow the seed to take root and grow into a strong plant. Every time you experience the pain of rejection, absence, or death, you are faced with a choice. You can become bitter and decide not to love again, or you can stand straight in your pain and let the soil on which you stand become richer and more able to give life to new seeds.”